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updated 8 Aug 2013, 16:56
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Sun, Apr 28, 2013
Philippine Daily Inquirer/Asia News Network
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Is it only beauty and youth men look for?

Dear Emily,

I am a single 42-year-old businesswoman and live in a comfortable place of my own, alone. I should be envied by women my age who are trapped in jobs laboring for other people, but they shouldn't.

I am short, fat, not at all attractive, and everyone thinks I am a lesbian by the way I act and dress. But I am not. I am all-woman, waiting to be with a man who will love me for me and have a life with me.

Someone broke my heart years ago. He took advantage of me, my money and whatever else he could get from me. I lost interest in taking care of myself since then, thus, my weight problem.

It's women now who come to me, wanting to take care of me. But I am not into women, and I haven't given up hope of finding the man for me. I am even thinking of freezing my eggs so I can start a family in the future. Is it only beauty and youth men look for? -RM

Answer:

Aren't you being too hard on yourself just because there's not a man interested in you now? Do you think everybody sees you that badly? Is that going to be the be-all and end-all of your existence?

Do you know how many millions of women would kill to be in your manless situation now? Are you still one of those who take as bible truth the hype perpetuated by the glossies and Hollywood on fairy-tale romances?

Believe in the saying that no matter how thin you slice an apple, there will always be two sides to it. And some men, despite their one-track minds, do like women who think, who care, who are kind, however "unattractive" they look.

You may feel horribly alone and lonely, and probably very unlucky. But there are millions of unhappy women-rich women bored to death in their dead-end marriages, battered women who see death as their only escape, women enslaved in relationships who become murderers, women who sell their souls because of poverty, and other horror stories that fill up newspapers.

They'd give an arm and a leg to be in your place. You have the freedom to go into any relationship, the freedom to buy love if you so choose, the freedom to shut the door or shut off the whole world if you want.

You're holding your life in your hands-mold it in whatever shape or form-and you don't even know it!

Get out of this mind block and stop looking for that elusive man to make you happy! Forget yourself for a while and pay forward every single lucky break that came into your life. They are more liberating and fulfilling than just finding that singular person. Volunteer to causes you can be excited about, or start doable and manageable projects that you're knowledgeable about.

It's nice to be hugged and loved and all that jazz. But after the fever dies, which happens soon enough, that all-too-familiar void sets in and the whole rigmarole starts again.

Pull yourself up and put yourself together. Lose weight if you so wish and make yourself pretty for no one else but you. Then go and conquer the world on your own terms. Happiness starts from within you-not from without.

E-mail [email protected] or [email protected].

 

readers' comments
U no paiseh and keep hardselling yourself here to the ladies that U 高富帅 izzit ??? Okok ... I know U will say all the PRC girls around U address U as Mr.高富帅 ... dont how lian here can?? :p :D :D



Posted by Small Fly on Wed, 8 May 2013 at 13:12 PM
it is the same. women look for men who are handsome, rich and tall too. no diff,高富帅。not meh?
Posted by A_Commoner on Wed, 8 May 2013 at 13:04 PM
3483

You can look for the Lao Beng in this A1 forum
Posted by Lotteworld on Tue, 7 May 2013 at 14:44 PM
Truly it is not your fault and also not the man's fault. It is his d1ck.
His blood just won't flow there if the gal is not beautiful or does not have a great body.
It is just how the man's mind and body are wired up.
Posted by maipenrai on Tue, 7 May 2013 at 14:40 PM
I am sorry to say looks is very important. You may not be pretty but if you dress well and put some makeup, that will make a different. You need to lose some weight and stop dressing like a man. You may not attracted by young and handsome man but a decent one. Dating is the first step tp happy marriage.
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on Tue, 7 May 2013 at 07:21 AM
Unless she's a Nina Wang otherwise young and beautiful woman helps to motivate their man.

Well........at least you can stomach your every meal just by admiring her youth and beauty at the dining table.........and have plenty of enjoyable sex in bed too ah

:D
Posted by GateCrasher on Tue, 7 May 2013 at 06:30 AM



1) Stop whining.

2) Lose some weight.

3) Stop dressing like a lesbo.

I promise you this advise will make you at least 1% more attractive.
Posted by PervertoSan on Tue, 7 May 2013 at 05:27 AM


Unfortunately, if there is not other opportunities for interaction that can allow a man to get to know a girl better so that he can see the other virtues in her, a man will normally go for the looks...So if you think that you're physically not attractive, then join community activities like volunteering to help with outing to the old and the poor, where people will be able to see the better part of you. It help to find you partners who share in your virtues...


Posted by kooldog59 on Mon, 6 May 2013 at 18:11 PM


I dont go for look.. i go for inner beauty.....:D:D:D

defination of bui Kia inner beauty = only beyond the cloths!!!!!:p:D
Posted by 158X128kg on Mon, 6 May 2013 at 18:10 PM
U dont so chek ark can or not ... wait that lady read your post and happily offer U her hand and then only U say U dont want how ??? :mad::D

If dont kao-kwan, then dont bargain and ask questions .... disturb disturb no give business very bad one hor! :p

Posted by Small Fly on Mon, 6 May 2013 at 18:08 PM

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