updated 24 Dec 2010, 19:21
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Sun, Feb 14, 2010
The Star/Asia News Network
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What do I do when I fall in love with my buddy's girl?

SHE was the girlfriend of a close friend. They were together for over seven years but kept quarrelling because my friend has other girlfriends elsewhere.

She started staying at my house because we were quite close before all this happened. We talked about sad and happy moments in the past and she’d help and encourage me whenever I had a problem or was unhappy. I started to fall for her. We really enjoyed our time together.

Then, out of the blue, she broke up with her boyfriend. I started thinking I might have caused that, so I stayed away from her for six months. During that time, I missed her and my feelings for her grew deeper.

Recently, I called her and she was really happy to see me again. We talked and laughed just like before. However, she suddenly changed. She stopped answering my calls and text messages.

This hurts and I really want to know what happened and why. Am I the problem, or does she have her own reasons? I keep on thinking nonsense and have tried to hurt myself.


SHE has left no clue or message, so how can you know the reason for her sudden silence? It was odd that she responded so happily to your call, then cut you off without a word.

Thinking about this and hurting yourself will not provide the answers. You need to talk to her, or forget about her. She has broken up with your close friend and there is nothing to stop the two of you from being friends or getting into a relationship.

If she likes you or cares about you, then why the hot/cold behaviour? Unless you have said something to trigger her reaction, there is simply no reason for her to drop you like a hot bun.

Perhaps she has been waiting for you to confess your feelings. When you stayed away after her breakup with her boyfriend, she must have felt disappointed and uncertain about you. Since you had always been friendly and shared much together, she must have expected you to offer a shoulder to cry on then.

A gal cannot read your thoughts and heart. As you did not have the guts to tell her your feelings, she probably felt it easier to put you away as someone from her past. If you really like her, then get out there and find her.


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