As parents of young children we are often guilty of assuming our children are little “mini-me’s” who will have the same strengths and talents we did as well as face the same challenges. This, we usually come to learn is often not the case.

Instead of channelling your child into activities you remember you were good at or felt you missed out by not experiencing, stand back and watch your child. What does he gravitate towards? Does she actually choose to play with the ball over dancing to music? Does he enjoy science experiments and shy away from reading books?

Knowing how your child likes to learn and process information is an invaluable tool that you can use to help your child do better in school, develop a love of learning and understand where their talents may lie.

Understanding that your child is an auditory learner, and therefore most comfortable using hearing to explore the world, can help you play to that strength and work on the other learning styles (kinaesthetic and visual) that need more stimulation.

When learning the alphabet, for example, an auditory learner will remember the information if she can listen to the teacher explain it, sing the alphabet song and match letters to phonic sounds.

A kinaesthetic learner may need to use play dough, pipe cleaners or other materials to make different letters while being given her name and sound.

A visual learner will grasp the material more quickly by seeing the letters and matching them to either pictures with the corresponding beginning sound or by placing the letters in order.

Children tend to be born with a dominant learning style. This can have no relationship to the learning styles of both parents, so it is important to understand your child may simply not learn in the same way you did.

Some children may have a very dominant learning style while others may have more of a mixture of the three. For those who have a dominant learning style it is important for you to understand how they learn best and at the same time what may not work for them. When they are young you will be able to choose activities for them, which will engage them, and they will gain from the experiences. As they get older you will know the type of extracurricular activities that will be more appealing for your child, offering them the greatest chance to succeed. For example a very visual learner may not enjoy learning to play musical instruments, while an auditory learner may find he gets great pleasure and fulfilment expressing himself through music. For the kinaesthetic learner that pleasure may come from drama or dance.

It is also interesting to understand the different intelligences as identified by Howard Gardner. Just as we may have a dominant learning style we will often have a dominant area of intelligence.

* Interpersonal – usually extroverts who are sensitive to the moods, feelings and motivations of those around. Communicate effectively and work very well with others, enjoying a variety of social situations.
* Verbal – Linguistic – are very good with words, both spoken and written. Excel at reading, writing, story telling and memorizing words. A highly developed verbal memory recall makes learning new language enjoyable.
* Logical – Mathematical – are good at solving problems, logic, scientific thinking and abstractions. Work well at reasoning and with numbers. This area is the most closely linked to the traditional idea of IQ.
* Intrapersonal – self-reflective capacities, typically introverted and intuitive. Able to analyse own feelings, reactions and motivations.
* Musical – enjoy rhythm, music, and tones. Generally have good pitch and enjoy creating music by singing, playing an instrument or composing. Generally strong auditory learners.
* Naturalist – strong ability to discriminate between and classify living things. Very attracted and sensitive to the natural world.
* Visual – Spatial – able to represent the spatial world in pictures. Able to orient oneself in space. Often good at art.
* Bodily – Kinaesthetic - has the capacity to use whole body to solve problems, make something or put on a production. Enjoys different forms of movement, including dance, sports and drama. Often strongly kinaesthetic learners.

As parents and teachers we all want to do the very best we can for our children. By understanding their learning style as well as the different intelligences, we can enable them to experience more successes and grow up feeling confident in their ability to do well and be respected and valued for who they are.

As we encourage our children to do more of what we believe they are good at, we must remember it is for their enjoyment and their positive development. I don’t believe young children should be pushed to succeed at something he or she does not enjoy.

I thoroughly enjoy getting to know my children and watching their talents and interests unfold before my eyes. It doesn’t matter what learning styles or gifts they have, it matters that every night they can go to sleep having experienced something that is new and exciting to them and look forward to doing the same the next day.

The writer is the Principal Director of Julien Gabriel Centre for Learning & Chiltern House.