updated 24 Dec 2010, 07:40
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Wed, May 26, 2010
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Never been kissed?
by Skilldo

When I was younger, I wouldn't know what to do if you set me up on a date with a girl.

I would have kept as silent as stone, or stutter stupidly, or just hope the lady would do enough talking for the both of us.

Back them, I thought that was just the way I am, and there was nothing much else I can do about it.

Fortunately, I learnt to change my erstwhile ways and proceeded to meet and interact with women in ways that would eventually widen my dating circle.

From my experience, I discovered that it's not that men don't know how to interact with women, but that they just have not realised their skills to handle the fairer sex yet.

So I stand by this belief until this very day - men do have the potential skills to attract women, but these skills have been sitting latent because of the way society dictates how we should behave around females.

A typical example of this is a parent telling his young son to concentrate on school and studies. "You're still young, don't need to find a girlfriend. Studies come first."
I bet you have heard this before, or know of friends who whose parents have chanted this refrain to them.

The message is well-intended, but the poor boy may take it to heart and by the time he's well into adulthood and ready to enter the world of dating, he would find it hard put to know what to do when interacting with women.

Here's another self-limiting piece of advice which sends shudders down my spine - "To get the girl, be friends with her first."

I can firmly tell you here and now that  when a man starts off by treating a lady he's interested in as a friend instead of positioning himself as her potential lover, he will most often end up being, well, her friend only.

So you can see, the correct message can 'coax' your latent dating potential to be realised, but listening to the wrong message will only just undermine your ability to get the girl you want.

Here's my point - socially accepted ideas about how a man should interact with a woman he is interested in does not get him far with the woman.

Think about it, because if that were the case, every guy in Singapore would have a gorgeous lady clinging onto him already.

That said, I'd like to present three observations I have made about how most guys in Singapore typically date according to generally accepted ideas', versus 'breakthrough ideas' employed by men who enjoy the company of desirable women:

"Generally accepted idea" "Breakthrough idea"
Court the girl by 'touching' her with a gift that you've put a lot of thought into to - move her with kindness. Focus on making the girl feel attracted to you, not on the gift that will impress or 'touch' her.
Be polite, sincere and gentlemanly towards the girl. Don't be afraid to show your playful side to her. Tease her, and and even let her know you're 'bad' in a thrilling way.
Go after that one girl wholeheartedly and attend to her like she is the most special person in the world. Pack your dating calendar, get to know a lot of women. In fact, get to know women who can introduce you to more women. Then you can choose the one whom you like the most instead  of pinning your hopes on just one girl.

Finally, give yourself the benefit of having options. Most guys feel rejected after a girl turns him down, and that is because that girl is probably the only option he had.

You won't have that problem when you surround yourself with more choices. And remember, no matter how unimpressive your current  dating report card is, it just means you haven't realised your full dating potential yet.


Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely,
dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling
social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A
locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully
attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at -

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