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Fri, Feb 13, 2009
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3 basic rules for the decent Singapore man
by Jamie Yeo

A GIRLFRIEND of mine, Amy (not her real name), was lamenting the other day about her horrible dating experiences in Singapore.

According to her, most Singapore men are ungentlemanly, stingy, nerdy, dull and “blur”. That’s the case if one is just friends with them, she said, but it’s worse when one is actually going out with them.

Her list of examples went on and on. One guy “forgot” his wallet three dates in a row. Another could not stop ogling her, erm, not-unimpressive assets. Yet another asked her to pick him up in her car as he did not want to spend money on cab fare.

But before you do an about-turn, dye your hair and start dating only foreigners, let me continue.

Fellas, there are three basic rules that you should adhere to when interacting with someone of the opposite sex:

  • Listen with interest to what she has to say
  • Do not stare at her various body parts, no matter how attractive they are
  • Pay for everything if you’re lucky enough to score that first date

I leave the rest to your discretion. It’s fine to mention your former girlfriend, but one should refrain from recounting in minute detail the good times you used to have with her.

All I’m saying is use a little common sense, and your date could turn out to be something more. Otherwise, you may just come across as one big turn-off.

That’s especially so if you’re meeting someone for the first time. First impressions count, and, besides, it’s just etiquette, isn’t it?

To be fair, I know of many Singaporean men who make good, devoted boyfriends/husbands.

My advice to singles – male and female – playing the dating game here in Singapore: Lower your expectations.

Most people – women in particular – have a list of what they want in a date. I say: Go on a date expecting the worst, and you may find yourself enjoying it.

Jokes aside, most Singaporean men are intelligent enough to hold a decent conversation, are cultured enough to pronounce “Merlot” correctly, and are brave enough to hold on to their date’s handbag if the need arises.

They’re usually hardworking, ambitious, filial and responsible, which means most of them make good fathers and husbands.

But the single most endearing thing about the Singapore guy is that he has an innate desire to take care of you. He wants to drive you around. He wants to hold your hand when you cross the road. He wants to buy your parents dinner.

It’s the Asian values we all grew up with. At the end of the day, it’s these values that bring guys and girls together.

All I’d like you, dear reader, to remember this Valentine’s Day is that even if your date turns out to be a disaster, do not give up.

Hey, there’s someone for everyone out there, isn’t it?

Happy Valentine’s Day.

For more my paper stories click here.


readers' comments
Dear IT staff,

it would be helpful if the field to store readers comments were extended to accommodate more meaningful discourse. Storage is cheap!
Posted by tatyyuen on Sun, 15 Feb 2009 at 13:22 PM
Intent allow you to direct the conversation to areas of interest.
If you must stare at various body parts, do it a playful and flirtatious manner. It can be very sexy if you can pull it off. And make some playful remark in good taste.
Offer to pay for everything but allow her to pay for some token item if she insists and be very very gracious about it and let her know it.

Here are my basic rules: Listen with intent even if you are not be interested.

Be genuine and be open and be responsive to what she says.
Let her know that you’re listening.
Share, share and share.
Don’t be the one always talking.
If you do take an interest, then ask.
It’s ok to ask. Just don’t expect to always get .....
Posted by tatyyuen on Sun, 15 Feb 2009 at 13:20 PM
Sorry but those examples are lame.

Your friend is too forgiving to give wallet forgetter 3 chances. Or maybe she was hoping for something else?

Guy was either flirting, a pervert, or both. A simple suggestion on her part could have and should have ended that type of behavior. I think that it could be done with taste in a flirtatious manner. Girls like that kind of attention if it's not lascivious.

Moneywise guys should be sought after but not penny wise pound foolish types. Story is incomplete. Maybe he was on her way. Was the date lavish enough or just fun enough to have that request neutralized regardless how well meaning. Asking to be picked up does not mean cheap. Too judgemental an example without the details.

But here's some wisdom from this life coach to help .....
Posted by tatyyuen on Sun, 15 Feb 2009 at 13:05 PM

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