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Tue, Jun 08, 2010
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Dateless after ten years
by Skilldo

While hanging out in town earlier this year, I bumped into an old schoolmate who I have not met for years.

We chatted and tried to catch up with each other's lives, and of course, that conversation included girls. He asked me about my dating life, and my answer shocked him.

I told him I have been with a beautiful and lovely girl for some time now, and she fits the profile and values of what I desire in a woman.

His reaction was one of disbelief.

You see, I was once voted in school as the guy most likely to remain dateless. Yes, the guys meant it as a joke, but given my dating record then, there was truth in their mockery.

After all, I was the dumb kid who once asked a girl if she had a tampon in her bag that she could show to me - because I didn't know how one looks like. Yes, I disgusted the women that way.

But back to the present with this friend who still found it hard to believe I have since been transformed.

So I took some time to explain that I have since discovered the secret to meeting and dating women actively a few years after we left school, and I have since gone on to impart these discoveries and secrets to other fellow, dateless men.

So then it was my turn to be curious about him. He was a nice guy, but still single - he did not have much progress to report about in terms of meeting and dating women.

And it turned out that he has only been in a relationship with a woman for three months in the ten years since we both left school.  Everything happened to him so randomly that he
exclaimed, "If there is a girl who likes me, good. If not, too bad!"

It sounded like he left his fate to the mercies that be. But all was not lost, since he came back around and asked me for a 'sure-fire' way to get himself a pretty girl.

I took that as a healthy display of positivity. So I asked him: "There must be many times when you 'sensed' and felt that the women you were dating were not working as well as you wanted.

"What did you do each time such feelings creeped up?"

He remained silent for a few seconds and replied: "Nothing. Everytime when it doesn't feel right, I did nothing. It's bad, there are not much dates and not much opportunities with girls but what can I do? I just wish that was not the case. I know avoiding the issue won't help, but I can only hope one day something good will happen."

His problem was one of avoidance, which was something I recognised in myself during the early stages of my dating life. Here is my analogy: Such problems are like dung - you can bag it and try to cover it up, but the bad smell still lingers.

Brushing the problem aside, or covering it up does not make it go away.

When I realised that, I did not want to lie to myself anymore that my dire situation with the girls will automatically get better by tomorrow.

I also realised that if I wanted results with the women, there will need to be a serious re-think about the way I talk to the girls, and I committed myself to be attractively different.

Most guys resist change, but my experience showed that it's possible to do it. And after a few weeks or months of trying, you will find that it comes very naturally.

And the end result of getting the girl of your dreams is always very rewarding.

About the writer:

Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely,
dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling
social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A
locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully
attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at -

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