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Tue, Jun 29, 2010
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Why doesn't she want to go out with me again?
by Skilldo

Most guys think they got it made when the girl of their dream agrees to go on a date.

But here's a fact - the guy can actually cause the girl to lose interest in him midway through their date. And if there was any hope that the guy was harbouring of getting the girl to agree to be exclusively his, he can kiss that thought goodbye.

Many guys ruin their own chances with the girls without even realising it. How do they do that?

Think about it with this illustration: Imagine you're hanging out at a mall, and you see an interesting tech toy. You come closer and try it out. Then a salesman comes along and starts trying to engage you as he explains the finer details of your newfound interest.

During the course of his explanation, something just doesn't feel right to you. You start to feel uncomfortable, but are not sure how to tell him to back off.

So you place the toy back on its shelf and tell the salesman: "Thanks, I'll look around."

You have lost interest in the toy even though you may have been interested in the beginning.

Similarly, on a date, a girl may decide she has lost interest in you even though she was somewhat intrigued by you at first.

Two things can happen - you can either cause her to become more interested in you, or that little spark of interest gets extinguished before you can even ask "Can I call you again?".

Do you think you can sustain her interest in you by just chatting about the things you have in common?

I hate to burst that bubble, but sticking to safe topics such as common interests are not going to keep her attention for long.

After all, she has a lot more in common with her friends, so what's going to be so special to talk about the same things with one more person?

This is why some guys feel depressed after what they believe to be a wonderful date - they thought that the conversation went well.

What you really need to do is to steer the conversation towards topics that will make her feel more attracted to you.

One tip is to make an observation about her that she doesn't yet know.  Pick out a trait that you noticed about her, and tell her what it says about her personality.

For example, mention that you notice the way she holds her chopsticks while you're both dining.

You: "I noticed the way you hold the chopsticks. Believe it or not, it says a lot about your personality."

Her: "What does it say?"

(And this is where you begin to give her an insight to herself.)

You: "You're quite a determined person when it comes to doing the things you want to do. You may or may not realize this part of yourself, but really, when it comes to things you want to do or enjoy doing a lot, you can even skip meals or not sleep much just to indulge in it. Sure, sometimes you may feel like slacking or not feel motivated to do what's required to be done. But overall, you're still a determined little one."

Just a note, no need to worry if you're accurate in your observation. It's really all about being confident as you converse with her in your attempts to connect with the girl.

Focusing the attention on her and directing her subtly to notice your confidence as you speak will help you to stand out from the rest of the guys.

About the writer:

Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely,
dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling
social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A
locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully
attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at -

readers' comments
How can you compare a date with a toy ? Tsk ! Tsk ! When on a date, relax and enjoy yourself.
Posted by heavenlyangel on Mon, 28 Jun 2010 at 21:26 PM

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