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Fri, Dec 21, 2012
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"Second brush with party sex was my last"
by Jeanne Tai

Pregnancy scare

My second brush with party sex turned out to be my last. It was with a former flame, Eric. I’d met him years ago, while living abroad for a year. We’d dated for a while but it didn’t work out and we remained friends.

He worked as a DJ and, coincidentally, was invited to spin at the club I was working at. I was tasked to host him that night.

Just like the first time, I drank like a fish while working and mingling with customers, and ended up drunk.

That, combined with whatever lingering feelings Eric and I had for each other, resulted in me spending the night at his place. I woke up the next morning with no memories of the previous night, and Eric lying next to me.

It was the same story with Max replayed, just that this time, it was less awkward as I’d had a thing going on with Eric previously.

Plus, I didn’t have time to feel “awkward” or remorseful. He had a flight home to catch, so he quickly packed and we left.

I was more worried about getting pregnant. I wasn’t on the Pill and there were no signs that he’d used a condom. I was scared and spent the next month worrying about whether anything would happen.

I would check my calendar, counting down to the week when my period was roughly due. The day it finally came, I was so relieved. I’d been so freaked out.

After that scare, I decided to put a stop to my behaviour. Firstly, I didn’t want to drink to the point where I blacked out anymore.

While no one had said anything, I felt it was getting bad for my image. Secondly, it was unprofessional as I had technically hooked up when I was at work on both nights.

I couldn’t be sure of what I had drunk or how I had behaved, and I was worried about how my customers and colleagues would see me.

And finally, I definitely didn’t want to have drunken sex again. I was fortunate that both Max and Eric were friends.

Till this day, I still feel that it’s an ugly sight to witness a girl getting so drunk she has no idea what she’s doing and gets taken advantage of by men – and I see it all the time at work.

I always think: How would people look at you? I didn’t want to be in that position.

As for Eric, we’re still great friends and Skype chat at least thrice a week. But we’ve never talked about that night. It’s almost as if it never happened. And that’s how I want to keep it. I think that if you continue dwelling on the incident, you’ll feel awkward all over again and you’ll never get past it.

To me, what’s done is done. I want to move on.

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