updated 3 May 2010, 09:32
    Powered by
user id password
Tue, Apr 27, 2010
EmailPrintDecrease text sizeIncrease text size
No need to be afraid of "losing face"
by Skilldo

Imagine this. You have been invited to a party at a grand-looking ballroom.

But for some reason, all the other men who were invited did not show up, leaving the other 20 party guests who are present, who happen to be gorgeous-looking women.

As you look around, a little voice inside you tells you many of these girls are single and friendly. And since you're already here, why not just go up to any one of them, make small talk and have some fun.

But just then, another little voice sounds a warning. These women may snub you when you make your approach, and make you embarrassed. What if they have boyfriends too? Better not to make a fool of yourself.

Alright, which voice will you listen to?

If you choose to follow the latter, you are thinking in terms of the risks you take when you want to approach a girl. And here's the thing - guys who think this way often fail when it comes to women. Why? Because they focus on the worst-case scenario and give themselves dozens of reasons about why they won't appear attractive to the female.

But guys who enjoy success with the womenfolk are the ones who think in terms of rewards. They know that if they at least approach the girls, that in itself is an improvement, or a gain.

And all those little victories add up to one big one.

When you take time to analyse the dating game, let me say this: the rewards always outweigh the risks.

Besides, what men view as risks aren't really that at all. I mean, is 'losing face' if you get rebuffed by the girl so dangerous?

And really, you can't lose in the field of dating, not if you cultivate the habit of doing something - even little actions - to help you improve your game.

So the two points to take from here:

1) Make it a habit to just learn something about women and what makes them attracted to men

2) Make it a habit to find opportunities to talk to women.

And even if you did end up in an awkward situation, such as being told by the woman that you just approached that she has a boyfriend, there's no big deal. But congratulate yourself because you just added one more point to your experience scoreboard by doing something.

Keeping at it will gain you points day after day, and you would have moved closer to being more natural around women and interacting with them on a regular basis.

At the risk of repeating myself, it's really a win-win" situation if you do something everyday to make yourself interact better with women.

About the writer:

Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely,
dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling
social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A
locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully
attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at -

readers' comments

Copyright © 2010 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.